Adoption Talk

3/04/2011 07:36:00 PM Edit This 6 Comments »
(Sorry - long rambling post ahead)
Since adopting Lexie I've always talked about where she was born and the fact that she was adopted. I've never preached about it or made it like she was different only that she's special - to me. We celebrate her official adoption day (aka Gottcha Day) which is July 4th so naturally she thinks all the fireworks and parties are for her! If you ask her were she was born she'll tell you "Aktau Kazakhstan" and just recently she's added "half way around the world." But she's never really asked a lot of questions about how she was adopted until we returned from Thanksgiving at my sisters house and she spent time with the twins (who were 3 months old.) Prior to their birth, I keep waiting for her to ask me about the babies in Boo-Boo's tummy (Boo-Boo is my sister Angie) and some how associate it with herself. At some point prior to the twins birth she was playing in the living room and called out to me "Mommy, I wasn't in your tummy was I?" I said "No Lexie you weren't" and I expected more questions and an in depth conversation. Nope, my little sweet pea said "okay" and went back to playing. I was more than surprised about this observation since I've never said to her that adoption meant she wasn't born of my body. I have a feeling someone at her school might have told her. Who knows? She is after all a very smart 4 3/4 year old (yes we have added her FULL age recently as well.) I've always believe that young kids will ask you what they needed to know or are ready to know so I've never felt like I should expand on a subject she's brought up unless she asks more questions (or has clearly gotten it wrong.)
A few days after our return from Thanksgiving Lexie said "Mommy, tell me the Mommy Lexie story."
"What do you mean?" I asked. "You know - like the flower story you tell me but without the flower."
That was an interesting surprise since prior to that I wasn't sure how much she was getting that this was our story. See Lexie was given a hooded bath towel from "Aunt" Amy, Angie's best friend, shortly after we came home and even today Lexie still insists that she must use this towel after every bath. Lexie has had skin issues since returning home with scabies (fun times) so I am religious about putting Aveeno lotion on her every time she takes a bath. It's actually a wonderful ritual where we talk about her day or when she was younger I would sing to her or tell her stories. It was one of those lovely times a year or so ago that I made up a story about a lady looking for the perfect flower for her garden. The lady looked at tulips in La Conner Washington. They were very nice but just not the right flower for her. Next she went down to Texas to look at the blue bonnets. Again, really pretty flowers but still they didn't seem to be the flower meant for the lady. Then she heard about the perfect little pink rose all the way in Kazakhstan and she just had to go see this rose. So the lady flew all the way to the other side of the world to Kazakhstan. When she finally saw the rose...the sweetest tiniest pink rose well she just knew her search was over. She'd found the perfect flower for her. So she gently removed the rose from the hot desert sand of Aktau Kazakhstan and flew all the way back home to carefully plant that dainty pink rose in her window sill. There the rose got lots of light and the lady gave her just the right amount of water and sprinkled a little plant food on her soil. And most important of all she loved that little rose more than anything. Sure enough, that baby rose grew and grew and her pedals slowly opened and it was hard to believe but she became even more beautiful with all the lady's love and attention. The lady also felt the love coming from the beautiful rose which made the lady so very glad she went in search of the perfect little flower for her. And they lived happily ever after.
Lexie would ask for the flower story a lot of times when she'd get out of the bath. She'd even pretend to be a seed by covering up with her blanket then slowly "blooming" as I would slather lotion on her legs and arms. Smart, funny little girl. So when she asked me for the Mommy Lexie story without the flower in November I knew she was asking to learn more about her adoption. So I changed the lady to mommy and the rose to Lexie and added some details that night. She listened very closely but didn't ask any questions and seemed happy to go to sleep. Then almost every night after that she'd ask for the Mommy Lexie story and with each telling she'd ask a few more questions or if I didn't tell a certain detail she'd make sure to throw it in there. Then she started saying things like "then I would pat your face and giggle" like she could some how remember it. If what she said she could remember was outrageous I would gently remind her that she was a baby so she can't really remember that time or she couldn't talk or walk - whatever she was trying to add to the story. Then I decided to use her "baby books" with the telling of our story. They are these two amazing homemade paper bag scrapbooks that came in a little decorated suitcase a friend of ours made for Lexie & I upon our return home. They are basically beautifully displayed pictures of our first days together so I can tell the story as she looks at the pictures and talks about them and the story.
All this has been very natural and she really seems to enjoy talking about how we became a family and how much we love each other. But in all the telling of the story and questions she's asked since November (or anytime in the last couple of years) she's never asked about her birth mother. Even knowing the babies came from BooBoo's tummy she's never said "well who's tummy did I come out of?" I guess she's simply not ready to hear the answer. I really don't think I should "force" her to hear the answer or talk about it by bringing it up myself but I don't want her be 10 and come home from school saying why didn't you tell me I have a birth mother either. Clearly it's not a real concern now but it does kind of play out my theory that kids ask what they are already to know. She is smart enough to make the leap of if babies come from a mommy's tummy like BooBoo but she didn't come from my tummy than she had to come from someone's tummy.
-One evening after my telling Lexie the Mommy Lexie Story she said "I want to tell you a story.... Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in New Mexico named Lou Ann. Here mommy and daddy came down to adopt her and" I stopped her to say "No Lexie, Mommy was born in New Mexico from GaGa's tummy and PaPa was there with her when I was born. I wasn't adopted." Lexie said "Okay, then the girl Lou Ann was born in New Mexico with GaGa & Papa. Then that baby Lou Ann grew up to be a lady that wanted a baby a whole lot. So she dreamed and prayed for a baby and she got me from Kazakhstan. And they lived happily ever after. The end!" Well that summed up my life in a nut shell!
- When we were putting out the Nativity Scene this year I told Lexie that Joseph is baby Jesus' adopted daddy. And of course she said "so Jesus was adopted like me?" You bet. After that, if she saw a statue of Joseph at church she'd say proudly that Joseph is baby Jesus' adopted daddy. Then out of the blue today after I picked her up from pre-school, she was talking about this and that when Lexie said "you remember Joseph - Jesus' adopted daddy?" (like I would forget him) "yes Lexie" And she said "so Jesus called Joseph Adopted Daddy because Jesus is adopted too." I said "Well, while here on earth I think Jesus called him Daddy just like you call me Mommy even though I'm your adopted mommy." I hear "okay" from the back of the car and she was off on another subject. I just wonder why these random thoughts keep popping in her head. Maybe someone in her class said I'm her adopted mommy not her real mommy? I didn't want to put ideas in her head but it does make me wonder.
-Today on a new TV show called Bubble Guppies (which I really like so far) the whole show was about adopting a pet. After about 5 minutes of  hearing adopt every other sentence in reference to animals I finally said "honey you do know that it is different to adopt an animal than it is a child?" I heard "yes Mommy"...without her taking her eyes off the TV. She seemed not to be concerned about it at all. I guess it was me. So later I said "if a person is adopting an animal or a child adoption is really about love and family and home." Which made me feel a little better but I don't know if she really cared. But when I asked her what books she wanted me to read tonight she said her "baby books" and the Mommy Lexie Story. So maybe she was making a connection with pet adoption and her adoption? I just can't decide if that's a good thing or bad thing.

Sorry for the rambling post but as you can see adoption talk is happening a lot around the house. It's all good. I'm just wondering when other adopted children really started talking about it and if there is anything else I can do or say to make her feel more comfortable with who we are as a family.

To Buy or To Make? That is the Question

2/13/2011 11:24:00 PM Edit This 4 Comments »
The answer is.....BUY!! The question I asked myself a few weeks ago was "should I buy or make Valentines for Lexie's class?" and I foolishly thought it would be fun to make them this year. Next year no question - it will be a quick trip to the store, I'll write out the kids names and Lexie can sign her name. End of project!  What I thought would be a couple fun hours of crafting turned into two weekends of doing most of them myself and then feeling like monster trying to get Lexie to write all the names. But it started out as fun....
Lexie and I started out by getting in the mood and making some quick valentine cookies with Lexie naturally putting on tons of frosting & sprinkles.
Then Lexie "helped" my by sorting through the rose lollipops we were using on the cards.
Lexie can't have a prop of any kind in her hand without turning it into some kind of dance.
All this was very cute and quite amusing - at first.Then I discovered Lexie has never used scissors with me and hadn't done much work with it at pre-school either. Of course this project involved a LOT of cutting. So I let her practice first and she was VERY proud of her work. Unfortunately she was supposed to be cutting out a heart not a rectangle. So I realized I would be doing ALL of the cutting.
I sent her off to go help Cinderella find her lost shoe then save a few babies lives while I cut out a couple hundred hearts, leaves & flower centers.
Then Cinderella joined me to put a few heart flowers together. I have to say if they (and alright her too) where so darn cute I would have trashed them all and headed over to Walmart.
But they were cute and Lexie worked really hard writing both her name and whomever it was for on each of the leaves.
It was getting late so I gave her lunch and sent her off for a nap as I worked on getting some of them ones for the family prepped. After SHE woke up refreshed I got her a little snack and a costume change was clearly in order then back to work she went. This time on the family's "cards." That's right I wasn't doing just one project no sir - not me!
These were the for GaGa & the aunts and a few friends (it turned out to be very few friends.) They too are very cute and I improvised with the stickers to make them brighter and Lexie had more fun (and to keep her away from the scissors!)
On the first one she wrote the whole inside which said "Let's watch our Love grow GaGa" Love Lexie. This only took about a half an hour so the rest where just signed by my brilliant 4 1/2 year old. But the end results where great too.
We were both pretty done at this point and Lexie was down right silly. So I called it a night on the project for the first weekend.
During the next week we managed to get enough of the flower lollipops and flower pots done to send off to the cousins and family. I have to say they were pretty adorable.
This weekend it was all about getting her class done. Did I mention there are 24 of the little darlings in her class plus she has 6 teachers between class, lunch and daycare? What was I thinking? But the first question of the day was what outfit was right for making these beauties. The Santa tutu was the perfect "fashion" as Lexie calls it.
And not too long into the morning I was told that she HAD to try out the lollipops to make sure they are really really good. Okay - I'm a sucker (yes pun intended) for my girl in a tutu.
Finally the class was done. Lexie thought they should smell like flower but that was going to far in my book. Here they all are plus the hard little worker bee.
 They really did turn out nice but next time (did I actually type that) I'll read the instructions a little better and ask Lexie if she can do some of the special skills needed.
They must be special though because Lexie told me they MADE her dance and sing.
Magic flowers for sure!
Our last project was for the teachers and it was a tube of lotion with cut (there is that ugly word again) outs of Lexie's hands saying "You Deserve A Hand" on it.
 They actually were quick an easy.
We managed to get everything done on Saturday so we could enjoy our Mommy & Lexie Valentine's Day on Sunday. More on that another time.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!


Just Everyday Funny

1/28/2011 11:14:00 PM Edit This 3 Comments »

I asked Lexie to please unload the silverware from the dishwasher. Usually she enjoys "helping" me with this chore but after placing just a few pieces in their proper places she says:

L: Mommy, I can't do this.

M: Of course you can Lexie.

L: I need to go play so you can be Cinderella today and do all the chores.

Nice! At least Cinderella gets the prince at the end of that story (my real prince must have gotten lost along the way) but I did remind her that WE don't have any Cinderellas in our house since we both have chores. She managed to get all the silverware put away AND play. Life is good.

***************************

So I had to make a few rules for Lexie's new trampoline after just the first hour of use:

1- no shoes (especially high heeled princess shoes)
2- no gowns
3- no crowns
4- no dogs - especially the live ones Kit & Kaboodle

Don't you have the same rule for your trampoline?

******************


Lexie and I got into the car to run some errands and this is the conversation we had.

Lexie: Where we are going Mommy?
Mommy : We need to go to the post office, grocery store and my office.
Lexie: Can we go to Mars too?
Mommy: Mars? Umm....sorry Lexie we don't have time to get to Mars before we need to get home to feed the dogs and cook dinner. Besides I don't have a space ship to take us to Mars.
Lexie: We could take the Space Shuttle.
Mommy: I think it's being used right now.
Lexie: We can take the car.
Mommy: Honey, this car doesn't fly.
Lexie: .......I know. We can use reindeer!
Mommy: Lexie we don't have any reindeer either.
Lexie: We can go to the North Pole and ask Santa - very politely - if we can use his.
Mommy: Okay. If we did, how many would we need to make this car fly?
Lexie: All the girl ones.
Mommy: And which ones are girls?
Lexie: Dancer & Prancer, Comet and Vixen too.
Mommy: Alright, how would we get to the North Pole to borrow the girl reindeer from Santa?
Lexie: We can take a train like Frosty did.
Mommy: Frosty tried to buy a ticket but he didn't have any money so he had to sneak on board. We don't sneak.
Lexie: But we have money right? So we can buy the ticket.
Mommy: But honey we still don't have time to make the trip. Why do we want to go to Mars anyway?
Lexie: To visit Martian Mickey.

Thank you Disney for a very entertaining conversation with my 4 year old on the way to the post office. I'll keep you posted on our pending trip to Mars via the north pole.

***********************



I put Lexie to bed at her regular time and after 3 different trips back into her room for itching, too much light & needing to be swaddled (yes just like her new baby twin cousins) she calls out to me yet again. I march into her room to tell her to go to sleep and stop calling me when she says:

"Mommy - I CAN'T sleep because I'm nocturnal."

I was amazed not only by her vocabulary but also by the fact that she used the word correctly and her natural ability to manipulated me into getting what she wants. Oh my brilliant little girl!

TO BE CONTINUED - I'M SURE




A Quick Trip to Texas

1/25/2011 11:01:00 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
You read it right. Lexie and I made a quick trip back to Texas this weekend for the twins Baptism. Nope, we just can't get enough. It was very last minute - literally decided on Thursday night and headed out Friday afternoon to arrive at the house around 8:30 Friday night. Lexie was all for it. She's always up for a visit with her cousins PLUS a chance to wear a princess dress (AKA last years Easter dress which is about 6 inches shorter but still fits!)
Since this was a double baptism of infants it was twice the fun getting them ready (in the bathroom at the church.)
Maddox was perfectly happy getting ready for his big day. Don't you just love those little rolls on his legs and arms?
And here he is looking dapper in his suit. He's looking pretty darn handsome for 5 months old!
While Angie & Mom where getting him dress Lexie, Blake and I were keeping Madison entertained. Or I should say Blake was....
Now that's entertainment!
Next it was Madison's turn to get into her gown.
 She wasn't as sure about the whole thing. I think it had something to do with Blake's singing.
 This was while they were trying to get this long gown buttoned. Who puts buttons on the back of a baby's dress?
But she looked just precious when it was finally on her.
Then Angie decided to be Super Mom and hold both the babies herself. I call her Crazy Mom since Maddox now weighs 20 lbs and Maddie is a petite 18 lbs.

I tried to get a shot of the whole clan but it's hard to get 2 infants as well as a 3, 10 & 12 year old all to look at the camera at the same time.
During the baptism Maddox took a little nap
 but Madison was checking everything out.
They both did great during the actual baptism. I think they both thought it was bath time!
Here are the newly baptised twins!
Angie decided to take these sitting down since her feet, arms and back where killing her.
I even managed to get a picture with my Goddaughter and daughter. What a special moment.
I love this picture of Lexie sitting in God's light.
We all headed to lunch and then said good-bye to Jim's family. Back at the house we tried again to get some good group shots while everyone was still dress. Here's grandma with her gang (minus 4.)
Angie with all of hers.
And me with my special one!
But we weren't finished celebrating. Cody was turning 12 in just 3 days so we decided an early family party was in order.
I couldn't be more proud of the young man Cody is becoming. He's a great older brother, terrific big cousin and all around great guy. I can hardly wait to see what the next 12 years bring for him.
So it was a fast and fun filled weekend and I'm so very glad we had the opportunity to make it. But I think both Lexie and I are ready to keep our feet on the ground. At least for a week or two!
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