Three Years Ago Tonight

7/03/2010 11:49:00 PM Edit This 5 Comments »
It's hard for me to believe that three years ago tonight was the last night I sleep without the sweet little soul of Lexie down the hall (or more often than not right next to me.) Could it really be just three years since I looked into those big brown eyes and knew that I was looking into part of my soul? I really can't believe how much a part of me she is and how much I have grown with her in my life these last 3 years.
This is a picture I took of her the last time I had to visit my daughter at the baby house. It's strange to think she was my daughter except for a technicality of a few hours yet I still could only visit her. I remember when they picked Mom & I up after that visit to go back to the apartment and Flora said I could take Lexie home tomorrow (one day sooner than expected.) I was a little sad that I hadn't made it more of an occasion. But the big day was really the following day, July 4th. I was officially her mother and no one could ever change that. At the time I just wanted to get her out of there. That night Mom & I got the apartment as "Lexie safe" as we could considering......well everything! It was hard to sleep that night knowing it would be my last one without her. As I put her down tonight I couldn't help but see how much we've both grown and to feel even more blessed than I did three years ago.

Here she is last week at our state capital in Olympia. I had to drive down there to get her last post-adoption social worker approved report apostilled so we walked around the campus.
Of course, here is her more natural pose.
Or maybe this one. Clearly the child is confident in herself and curious about the world around her. She has grown in so many ways I can't believe she is the same child.
Here is something I have sung to Lexie almost every night since our first one together.

I Love you Lexie Lou
I Love little Lexie Lou
With your button nose
And your eyes so big & bright,
I love Lexie day and night.

I Love you Lexie Lou
I Love little Lexie Lou
With your dancing toes
And your silly little giggle
I love you just like a pickle

I love you Lexie Lou
I love little Lexie Lou
With your sweet kind heart
And your big smart brain
I love you in the sun and the rain.

Okay, a poet I'm not but my Mom has been bugging me to put it down in writing. I've clearly added the verses as she's gotten older and now she sings "I love Mommy" then makes up whatever she feels like that night. Those are my favorite verses. I sing (I'm using that term loosely here) this to the tune of that song Barney always sings at the end of his shows.  I also sing Bingo to her like this:

There is a mommy who has a baby
And Lexie is her name oh.
And Lexie is her name Oh.....

You get the idea. And the Oscar Meyer song goes like this in our house.

My Alexis has a first name, it's L E X I E,
My Alexis has a second name it's F A L E N,
Oh I love to kiss her every day
And if you ask me why I'l sayyyyyyy
Because Alexis Falen is the sweetest
Girl in the whole U S A - Hey!!

And the last song of my Lexie repertoire is to Row Row Row Your Boat:

Lexie Lexie Lexie Lou
What a funny girl.
She loves ballet
And then she'll play
Then next she'll draw a swirl.

Yes I know - it's the worst yet. But Lexie finds them all comforting and that's all that really matters - right? Plus I don't sing them in public! I have to get credit for that at least. So there you have them Mom. No one will ever forget them now. And no one will ever hire me as a song writer either.
Happy Adoption Day Lexie Lou! I can hardly wait to wake up and hear what you have to say tomorrow.