LIFE with LEXIE

Well this simple routine surgery for Lexie has become anything but routine. All of last week Lexie seemed to take one step forward and two back. Never really getting back to normal but I still managed to get a enough liquids and food down her to keep her from being dehydrated again and ending up back at the ER. So Mom headed back home on Wed but on Thursday I decided to take Lexie into her pediatrician to see what they thought. I was told everything was normal but to keep pushing fluids.

Then Friday morning she woke up and drank about 4 oz of milk for the first time since the surgery and ate oatmeal for breakfast and in general just seemed more like herself. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought finally she's on her way. I took her with me on an appointment to review an investment property for a client of mine. It was a couple of hours and towards the end she said her tummy was hurting her. She'd been drinking a lot of water so I thought she was just feeling full. I took her straight home and put her down for her nap.

About an hour into the nap Lexie woke up crying and complaining that her throat and tummy hurt. I noticed a drop of blood on the pillow so I picked her up and felt her stomach heaving. I ran her into the kitchen where she throw up about a pint of blood and black clots. I have never been so scared in my life. After calling 911 she throw up even more blood two more times. She even had it coming out of her nose. I truly thought she was dying since I still don't know how so much blood could come out of that tiny little body. My kitchen looked like someone was murdered in it. It seemed to take EMT forever to get there even though I think it was about 10 minutes.  I remember one of the paramedics (there were 4 of them and 2 ambulances) said when he came into the kitchen "all of that is from a tonsillectomy?" Blood was everywhere and there was just so much of it. My poor little baby.

After a horrifying 45 minute ride in the ambulance to Mary Bridge Children's Hospital, where she had the surgery, with the paramedics taking three tries to get an IV in her tiny arm (which had already had two IVs in the last 10 days so they had to go in  under her wrist) at least she had stopped bleeding by the time we got to the ER. I felt blessed that the same doctor who had seen her in the ER last week was on duty and knew her case. After a couple of hours in the ER with IV fluids and running tests they decided to have her stay overnight to see if she would continue to clot or if she'd need to go back into surgery. I was actually relieved to stay since I didn't want to go home and have it happen again. She was upset about being there and being hooked up to everything but she eventually settled in. A good friend Lisa went by my house to pick up some stuff for both of us and her husband Scott kindly drove my car in so we wouldn't be stranded. All of which helped make the night more bearable. Of course things still couldn't go right since her IV blew around 1:00am. They first tried to put it back in the same vein but then had to take that one out and try to put another one in. After 3 more tries with her crying hysterically the whole time I asked them give her a break. So they waited about a half an hour then brought another IV nurse in and she finally found another vein after her second try. It was so hard to hold Lexie down while she was so upset and look into her sad scared eyes and tell her this was going to make her better. She was such a trooper and so brave even if she did cry.
Finally Sat afternoon the on-call surgeon said Lexie seemed to be healing so he agreed there would be no more surgery right now unless she starts bleeding again. He stressed that there were no guarantees that she wouldn't start bleeding again and if so he wanted her back in an ambulance and they'd take her right to OR. But in his experience he really felt she should be fine. Once her blood levels started raising again and her blood was not quit so anemic they sent us home. That was the worst 30 hours of my life.

I'm taking her back to see her original surgeon today and I should have a better idea of what to expect over the next 10 days. They said because she tore the scabs off on Friday that it will probably take another 10 days until they are completely healed. I just pray she doesn't bleed any more or she'll have to go back to the OR and we'll be starting all over again. Needless to say, Lexie hasn't let me out of her site and to be honest I don't want to let her out of mine. I will NEVER forget the image of her and all that blood. Here are the clothes she was wearing. And that's just what fell in her lap. Amanda who takes care of my dogs when I'm not around and whom I called from the ER, kindly clean up the blood in the kitchen so I didn't have to come home to that.

Lexie's started doing a lot of doctor roll playing since we returned home which she's never done before. She found a long tube from one of her toys then got a sticker and stuck it on my hand saying "this isn't going to hurt honey" like the nurses did. Then she went and got the play blood pressure cuff that came along with her doctor outfit. She put it on my arm and said "now I'm going to take your blood pressure. It's going to give your arm a little hug." Boy was I surprised that she even remembered the term blood pressure and that she knew what piece of equipment they used on her this weekend to check it. Even at this age they really retain so much. She hasn't talked about the blood or the ambulance ride yet but I have a feeling it will come sooner than later. I also talked to her about going back to school tomorrow if the doctor says it's okay and she is was very clear she didn't want to go. She started tearing up said she needed to stay with Mommy. Ahhhh. It's been over two weeks now so it's going to be hard no matter what. Luckily her teachers are great and they've been checking in on her so we'll work it out I'm sure.

So that was the worst 30 hours of my life. I can honestly say I've never been so scared or prayed so hard or known that God was with me more, than those 15 minutes from when she first throw up the blood to when the EMT showed up. I was alone with my desperately ill daughter and yet I was so blessed to have had Him beside me to helped me stay calm when Lexie needed me the most. Then during my long night sitting next to Lexie at the hospital, I realized that I should always listen to my Mother's instincts (GOD) since I KNEW something wasn't right even though the professionals all said it was normal. And that no matter how alone I am that I'm actually NEVER alone. God is always with me and He will keep telling me what to do if I will just listen. So I'll keep my heart open and listen to what God needs me to do. And I'm praying that I never have to call 911 again! But if I do, I know that I won't be alone until help comes since God will be with me. I believe that is the lesson I was meant to learn this weekend. Now I'm also going to believe that God has big plans for my little girl and I'm going to be positive that she's going to do nothing but get better from now on!